I Wait

Pandemic Archive

Corona virus, corona virus, corona virus

You cannot see it, or hear it or feel it,

And then it has you, it holds you, it hugs you, it crushes you.

My sister is dying.

I wait

I am a key worker, I must work, and help my families and I do,

I am a course lead, I must work and help my students and I do,

I must do even more than I was doing before, and I do.

My sister is dying,

I wait

I am a black woman who works and works

I am a black woman I listen and listen

to them, talk about me, talk about my kind

telling us that we are much more likely to die from this disease

My sister is dying,

I wait

My load is heavy, and the pain runs deep in my veins

My face only shows what is expected

My face shows what I have learnt to reflect out to the world

My sister is dying.

I wait

My sister lives, Corona has set her free

And instead a black man is dead

George Floyd

I am a black woman

I want to live and breathe and hope

Yet the disease of racism is in the air

And then it has you, it holds you, it hugs you, it tries to crush you.

Black lives matter

(Image by James West)

5 thoughts on “I Wait”

Gail 6 June 2020, 16:48

Wooh, I got shivers running around my skin reading this. Yes. It all needs saying, needs knitting together, separating and connecting up again and again. Thank you for this, Rukiya.

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- Karen Partridge 8 June 2020, 09:54
  
  Thank you Rukiya, this gave me shivers too. Powerful, shocking and pulling together all that needs to be said for me just now.
  
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Leah 9 June 2020, 08:18

Loaded with multiple stories, each needing to be told. Capturing a sense of urgency.
Time!
The achingly poignant lack of time at a time when we are told we have “time on our hands”.
Deeply moving. Vitally important.
I felt connected in multiple ways, especially in relation to personal loss and grief alongside global rage and angst. I wish I could say more, had better words.

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Hugh Palmer 10 June 2020, 14:31

Thank you for this. It captures so much; things I get, viscerally, and things I need to learn more about and be humble about.

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Niall Reynolds 12 June 2020, 20:06

This is a beautiful expression Rukiya, of the fears and emergences to more hopeful landscapes we encounter at different times and contexts. It really hit me and I connected with the words in a way that made me stop.

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